The Future

Day 90----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't wait until I'm out of here for good. I can't wait to explore the outside world. I can't wait till I can be without these 200 some eyes watching. I can't wait to be free of judgement. I never want to see this place again. I never want to come back to this. I never want to come back to the feeling of someone trying to bore holes into the back of my head, or someone trying to make me look like a fool.

I don't want you to doubt me, because I already doubt myself. And I don't want you to judge wrongly of me, because these people already do. All of the people here, minus a select few, are just rocks on a mountain; they believe they can never be moved and that they are on top of the world, but eventually they will all crumble and fall. We (I and the select few who have banded together to try and make it through this place with only friendship and desperation), however, are like diamonds in the rough; waiting just below the surface for someone to take notice and free us from the rubble until we have the chance to shine with brilliance.

I can't wait for the future. I can't wait to be apart of the world again. I can't wait to share myself with people who will actually appreciate the human being that God and I have created together. I can't wait to experience true friendship.
I am excited to have a conversation with someone who doesn't have double standards or hypocritical ideas of the world. I am excited to know how people without mental instabilities are like. I am excited to see one human interact with another human because they honestly enjoy the another's company, not because they are so utterly desperate for conversation.
I want a normal life. I want to have a normal cup of coffee, with a normal group of people, and a normal little coffee shop, on a normal street corner, where we can watch all the normal people go about their normal day.
I want quiet. I want my own quiet room, with my own quiet bed, with my own quiet music, with my own quiet book.
But out of all these desires, excitements and wants, all I really wish for is...


a little              

moment of           

peace.