Day 188----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been way more busy than usual lately. Between student politics, social crisis, and accelerated events, I've barely had enough time to sleep, much less blog. Time for a million updates... where to begin?
I had CDP (Career Development Period) meeting last Monday. I get together with my instructor, a dorm manager, a counselor, and the career development counselor on the first Monday of every month. At this meeting we discuss my improvements, achievements, and goals for the next month. Well, as it turns out, everyone is very impressed with my success here at Fort Simcoe. The career development counselor, Linda Lee, has suggested that I go to college. Job Corps has a program where I can go to college for two years and get an Associates Degree of my choice. I'm very excited about it and she hopes to have me placed in a college by this summer so I can start the semester in fall. I'm hoping for a degree in Wildlife Survival. On another note, my head instructor, Scott Ferguson, says he's very impressed and hopes to see me (and Sterling (my 'trade twin')) in the position of foreman someday.
As it turns out, I didn't get any position in the SGA once again. Not really bummed, to be honest. I have a lot on my plate as it is...
There's been a lot of chaos in the dorm lately, and I'm getting tired of it. I've taken it upon myself to try and be a leader figure within the dorm, without being a leader. It seems that some of the girls like to have me as a spokesman for them. I have very good interpersonal skills and with a level head, I can see things from the outside in and visa verse.
The head honchos from Bureau of Forestry are here to investigate the conditions of the center. From what I hear, they are not impressed. The way staff are running things is sloppy. They can't find papers, nothing is on record, and they play favorites with students. They don't enforce current rules, but rather enforce rules that don't even exist. Also, the center is not run to the standards of all the other Job Corps. Things are going to be changing around here, and soon.
Things in my personal life have been all but stable. Jamie and I have been trying to work things out, but to no avail. One of us always ends up hurt. Maybe its the Aries - Virgo incompatibility. Remember how I said I would do things my way this time? Well apparently he doesn't like my way. I started hanging out with my guy friends and living and being truly happy for the first time in a long time because I wasn't worried about how he felt. I was comfortable enough in my relationship that I thought that since we both knew how we felt about each other, that would be enough to get past the rumors and the other crap. I swear, people around here talk just to see how much damage they can do.
Anyway, he ended up feeling all territorial and threatened when I hung out with my friends. I'm allowed to have man friends, and I shouldn't have to put a value or limit on friendship just because they happen to be of the opposite sex. I finally broke it off for good and he's wanting to get back together. He says he wishes he'd done things differently and things are going to change. I'm sorry, but people don't change, they simply grow into stronger into their own being. I've seen it in my dad. He's a lot wiser now than 10 years ago, but inside he's still the same person, just aged. And Jamie and I both need to age... in our own way. Apart.
However... there is sort of a root to all this evil. Since winter break I've formed an undying and loyal friendship with a young man named Daniel. We were talking right before break because we are both huge husky fans, and I ended up texting him in the middle of break, asking him what channel the Winter Bowl was on and it all started from there. The more we talked the more we had in common. Now he sits with me at the store every night that I work and every morning for breakfast during the week we meet at the same time, sit at the same table, with with the same people. And I'll tell you what, it feels so great to have a guy friend that I can laugh with and spend time with and be comfortable, without worrying about all the crap that comes with a relationship. We've already laid down the ground rules and, no matter what happens, we'll always be friends. Just friends. What a relief.
Towards the end Jamie pretty much gave me an ultimatum, 'Daniel or me', and I am not about to give up a friendship like that for a relationship where I've already given so much. It hurts that it had to come to this... but I'd rather not marry a man like my father.
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